Tax deductible donations are greatly appreciated!!!

Less than 2 weeks away from PurpleStride-Nashville and I have RAISED the goal! Yes, I am hoping this last week and a half, my team can reach $5,000 to donate to PANCAN! Setting goals are what helped me beat this cancer, so far, and I'm going to keep exceeding every goal in my life! 

I'm sitting here preparing to return to work TOMORROW! A GIFT many of my fellow pancreatic cancer patients never receive! A gift I will never take for granted! I have an entirely different perspective on the definition of a "sick day" now! Hahahaha

I'm so very blessed and at the same time so very angry about this cancer. 
Here I sit after a diagnosis of what they call, "the most lethal" cancer, preparing to return to my new "normal" life.  Only 6% of those diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer survive to year 5 AND it ONLY receives 2% of NIH funding. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't so deadly and it weren't on the rise. 

You see, it's almost October. Yes, the "pink" month. Fortunately, because of the branding and share of voice, nearly everyone on the planet knows what the pink ribbon stands for. I say KUDOS to Komen for helping raise awareness, making a difference & saving lives! Breast cancer is on the decline and the overall 5 year survival rate is now 85%! 

ALL CANCERS SUCK GIANT MOOSE GENITALIA! But now is the time for Purple & Pancreatic Cancer. While the other 4 cancers in the top 5: lung, breast, colon and prostate are ALL on the decline, sadly, pancreatic cancer is on the rise. Unfortunately, in the next 2-3 years, pancreatic cancer will become the number 2 cancer killer in the US. That means more Moms, like me, under 50 will be diagnosed and die from this cancer. Women will be more concerned about pancreatic cancer than breast cancer because it is so lethal. Hell, many of these Moms are under 40 being diagnosed with small children. The vast majority of them will never see their children graduate from high school. I at least was able to experience that with my son. 

I could go on with the stories of the loved ones I have met on my journey with pancreatic cancer. I've grown to love and protect my pancreatic cancer brothers and sisters. That is what they are, family. Like all families, we just want to live and make memories. 

Please join us in the fight and donate your tax deductible amount! No amount is too small. Please  consider giving up that Starbucks and donate to PurpleStride-Nashville. And share my blog and page to help us raise awareness and research funding for pancreatic cancer. 

Alyson Goodwin's Personal Page for TN - PurpleStride Nashville 2013 

Thanks y'all! 
Princess out <3

Time...9 months...a LOT can happen in a short span of time

"Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time."~Jim Rohn

A LOT can happen in 9 months:
a pregnancy
a  life changing diagnosis
a marriage
a divorce
a birth
a death
a LOT can happen in the span of 9 months...a LOT of living and dying. A great deal can happen in the span of a few short months.

9 months ago I was a perfectly "healthy" mother of a 20 year old. Now, almost 9 months later, I'm a blessed and miraculous "survivor"of Pancreatic Ductal Adenocarcinoma. It's funny for me to say "survivor". I'm less than a year into my diagnosis & I know the statistics very well. 80% of recurrences happen within the first 2 years. So until I reach 2/18/15, I'm quite certain I'll be a little on edge that the evil witch will return. In the next 9 months , I have to return to VICC, no less than 4 times. 

So much has changed in a short amount of time. I do not take anything for granted now. I learned to forgive and ask forgiveness. I learned that some people are not meant to be in my life. I  learned that you can't help someone who can't help themselves. I learned the 3-legged, one-eyed, mangy dog will NEVER be, "Best in Show" at Westminster. I learned I have a beautiful and blessed life and wouldn't trade places with anyone. I learned I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I learned that I am loved and the most important people in life are the givers, not the takers.

Where will you be in 9 months? Where will you be in June 2014?
There are no guarantees in life, but my goal is to be alive, traveling, enjoying life, living & surrounded by positive uplifting people. I will NOT be a prisoner to my diagnosis. I am FREE!!!
How about you? Are you a prisoner? Yes? I'll pray for you...

Princess out <3

Miracle? Karma? Luck? Genetics? Or a combination?

TB2G!! I'm blessed! So blessed that I've been about to bust, all day long!!!!

What an amazing day! I wish I could bottle the joy & gratitude I have felt all day! It's days like today that help you get through the tough days.

Those dark days of pancreatic adenocarcinoma are in my past, for now, & praying for good. My Dr. Awesome believes they are behind me. My scan was completely clear. My CA19-9 remains in the teens. My weight is back to normal. My blood is recovering from the beat down of chemo & Dr. Awesome believes it is best to remove my port so I don't have a daily reminder of my cancer. Sweet thought, but I am forever changed because of pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma & will live daily in my new "normal" as a survivor of PDAC. More importantly, my new "normal" includes all the brave fighters I've met fighting this cancer! I wish all were free of the evil witch!!!! 

I also had an appointment with my Endocrinologist. I had an ultrasound to measure the 1.6cm mass that was found on my thyroid last year. 

To my Doctors surprise, the mass is no longer there. She was in shock. The only thing she could attribute it to was, gemcitabine, the chemo for my PDAC.

Once I made it to my appointment with Dr. Awesome, I asked him, "Did my chemo have anything to do with that?" He replied, "I don't know, but I'll take credit." 

I'll gladly let him take credit because it is well deserved. Dr. Awesome led my team like a Champ. He guided me to one of the finest surgeons in the country in regards to the "Whipple". My Superstar Surgeon went the extra mile, making sure to not only completely resect the tumor & lymph nodes, but also resected the portal vein to insure negative margins. 

So, here I am in one of my favorite cities, Nashville. Thankful for a clean bill of health (other than my anemia) from both my Oncologist & Endocrinologist. 

There are no masses in me, nor cancer cells. I have been released to continue with my recovery, return to work & my new "normal".

I will be having my port removed 9/26. IF the evil witch returns, I will have another port placed. I will return to work on 9/30.

I will also be in the double top secret, Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center's Surveillance Program for those diagnosed with PDAC. Which means: I will be returning to VICC every 3 months for CA19-9s & CT scans. 

I will learn to live in the present, because it is a gift. 

The cancer may or may not come back. All I know is that today, I am grateful & I am whole. I am free of the evil witch. The Princess is free & at peace! 

I want to shout from the rooftops of Nashville, "TB2G! TB2G! GO TEAM VANDERBILT!! 

IF, God forbid, you are ever diagnosed with a Gastrointestinal Cancer, there is NO NEED to travel to Houston & MD Anderson or Johns Hopkins in Baltimore! We have a top notch facility with world-renowned, well respected thought leaders in the world of GI cancers right here in Nashville at Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center! 

Now, I'm going to enjoy the evening & weekend with my fabulous friends! 

I know I'll have challenges ahead, but if I can overcome this, I can overcome anything. As long as I have the support I've had through this, this Princess can take on the world. 

Thank you all!!! I love you so very much & am so humbled by the love & support. I never could have done this alone. TB2G, my family & friends. <3

Perspective

Perspective:

All of the following disease I've been personally touched by: 

Alzheimer's Disease

Epilepsy

Pancreatic Cancer

My Grandmother & Mother both died from Alzheimer's. My son was diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 6 & is at risk of dying from a phenomena known as SUDEP (Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy) and you all know my story with Pancreatic Cancer. All are represented by the symbol of the purple ribbon. 

Today, there are no survivors of Alzheimer’s. If you do not die from it, you die with it. In 2010, 83,494 Americans died of Alzheimer’s disease. Up to 50,000 Americans die each year from seizures and related causes. 36,800 Americans die from pancreatic cancer. ALL of these diseases are personal to me and ALL are deadly. More importantly, to me, ALL are seriously underfunded at the NIH. 

This is what keeps my cancer in perspective: 

I watched the two most important women in my life forget who I was. They forgot their grandchildren, their children and a husband of more than 50 years.  The two women who helped mold me into the woman I grew in to, forgot my name. The Mom I turned out to be was heavily influenced by the example of my most loving and selfless, grandmother, Neenie. I watched her & then my Mom deteriorate over years into a shell of a person and then the "death rattle" began and the Grim Reaper was upon them, stealing the memories and ultimately stealing their breath.

I have watched a 6 year old struggle with the stigma of Epilepsy & deal with the effects of active seizures. It has been the hardest struggle of my life, BY FAR, watching my child go through tests, ER visits and take medication every day to help save his life. I STILL live every day in fear of Epilepsy killing my only child, NOT a cancer trying to kill me. In spite of Epilepsy, my son grew into a confident young man that lives life every day to the fullest. He's loyal & compassionate. He's my hero & a role model for me.

We have talked many times about our deaths. Probably because death has always been in the background of our daily lives. The fear of his potential death & living with the untimely death of my big sister when she was only 5, made it essential to discuss living and the end of life.  Kyle & I came to an agreement many years ago before my cancer: We will celebrate life. We will not embrace death, nor allow the Grim Reaper to dictate our daily lives.

I'm grateful for each day & I'm grateful it isn't my son battling cancer. 

To me, I'll take Pancreatic Cancer EVERY SINGLE DAY as long as my son is doing well. I'll take dying of Pancreatic Cancer over Alzheimer's so I won't forget who my son is years before my death. 

THAT my friends, is MY perspective. All we have is today. 

"Get up, look up & never give up."~Michael Irvin

HELP! Prayers & donations needed!

As one of my fellow princess warrior fights for her life today, I ask 2 things: 

1) pray for her surgeons and a successful surgery to relieve her pain & help her continue to fight 

2) donate to Pancan & PurpleStride-Nashville.

Let me ask you, what were you doing at 26 years of age? Were you diagnosed with what they call the most "lethal cancer" on the planet? Were you trying to find the best of the best physicians to lead you in the fight for your life? If you weren't, drop to your knees and thank God, Buddha, Jehovah, Mother Earth or whomever that you didn't have to face that challenge. Ashley did have to face that challenge. She's young, beautiful, smart and driven, like many of my friends when we were that age. She had her entire life ahead of her. Think of all you've done since you were 26. She never was able to do much of what we were because she has been fighting for her life.

I now have 850 friends on Facebook. To those that have donated to PurpleStride-Nashville, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If each of my friends only donated $5 than would be over $4,000. That is the cost of a Starbucks coffee. 

I'm asking for your donation to help us find better screening, better treatments and to STOP pancreatic cancer. 

When I was diagnosed I knew it was aggressive, but had no idea that the advances we've made in other cancers had NOT been made in Pancreatic Cancer. WE CAN CHANGE THAT! The time is now...please donate & help Ashley & pray that she pull through this challenge. Donate and help the other young friends I have that are battling this awful cancer in their 20s & 30s. 

Thanks y'all! 

Your tax-deductible donation is greatly appreciated & it goes to researchers, like my Dr. Awesome who is dedicated to fighting this cancer!!!

http://purplestride.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1070525&lis=1&kntae1070525=89485D9632294967BF218F065E7E6212&supId=387554468

You are the company you keep

One of the benefits of a diagnosis of PDAC is that for many, it helps to get your priorities in order, set boundaries, right your wrongs & hold others accountable for actions.

My Neenie would always say to me as a kid, "You are the company you keep."

Well, I CHOOSE to be around men & women of character that understand that the hard decisions are often the most difficult to make and abide by. It's what separates the men & women from the boys & girls. They understand actions have consequences. They take personal responsibility for their actions and learn from them. They take ownership & move forward making better decisions. They are those that put others ahead of their own selfish needs or desires.

I've made a conscious decision to eradicate the energy vampires & narcissists from my life.

It is the most freeing feeling in the world! I've never felt more at peace!

You leave this world with one thing, YOUR REPUTATION!

I hope that when my departure comes, my son can say, "She wasn't perfect. She made mistakes & taught me how to say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you & I love you!" She was a woman of character who taught me to choose carefully, treat people with dignity & respect, love with all you have and loyalty to family & friends are all that matter."

At the end of the day all that matters is I can face God as a forgiven sinner. I can look at myself in the mirror and know I've done my best. That my son not only loves & respects me, but more importantly learns to be a better man, a man of character.  That he love & respect others and choose his friends wisely. That he knows I love him more! Infinity! No take backs!

TB2G!
Princess out! <3

The best is yet to come!

Well, to say a lot has happened in the last 2-3 weeks, is an understatement!
First let me say, rest in peace, Dorothy. Kyle loved his Grandmother very much and I know my wonderful Father-in-law misses his beautiful bride. Yes, I still call my former spouse's Dad, my FIL. He's a great man & role model for my son.
Next, the rest of what happened was the result of adults making poor choices and now they have consequences to deal with because of those poor choices. It's called being an "adult"! Maybe someday you'd like to join us. Hell, my son has greater maturity than some of these "adults" I've had to sever my relationships with. All I can do is pray for them, wish for the best & hope we can rebuild a once strong friendship before I die. Of course that's if they abide by my boundaries...one has hope, for the other one it's, "just say "NO" to PFOs" & is a Lifetime movie in the making...hahahaha
Now onto my update:
I'm still working on my guest blog post. I became a little sidetracked by the death of Dorothy & trying to help out a friend.

The above photo is: before (Jan 2013), surgery & last day of chemo! My next super awesome photo will be on my return to work day: September 30, 2013. TB2G! 
Update: I have now completed 18 infusions of Gemzar. I was fortunate that my body was able to handle the 3 weeks on, one week off regimen, for most of my cycles. My body took a hit in the fatigue (anemia) and strength area. Also, my joints & body ache  most of the time and I nap daily. 
I am scheduled to have my post treatment CT scan on 9/4. I am using the time from now until 9/30 to regain strength and get organized for my return to work.
Thank you to my family, work family & friends for the love & support! I could not have made it without that and all your prayers! TB2G! 
Life is good & so is God. <3
Princess out!