We're off to see the Wizard!

Dear Lord, I am so thankful that You love me unconditionally. 

Please chase away destructive thoughts that keep returning to 

take away my confidence in You and Your work in me. 

I want to rest in You and Your love.

TB2G-Amen

This is the prayer I MUST say every day as I continue my challenge with Pancreatic Cancer. 

It just couldn't be easy. That wouldn't fit with the story of my life. Nothing in life that is worth having is ever easy. It takes hard work, dedication & faith. Faith in yourself, in those you surround yourself with and faith in God.

I have learned not to assume ANYTHING! Especially when it comes to cancer. I assumed it was all behind me. I assumed I was in the elite group of Whipple & pancreatic cancer survivors. Well, I AM a survivor, with a twist. I have a little more of a challenge to go through. 

I am so very blessed to have a great Oncologist & facility filled with experts. I learned yesterday that not only is "the witch" back, but it is NOT a local recurrence, but it is metastatic. 

The Tumor Board met yesterday morning and upon reviewing my latest CT scan, one of Dr. Awesome's colleagues noticed a change to the peritoneum. It appears that I have 4-5 enlarged lymph nodes which is indicative of disease in the peritoneum along with the original area of suspicion, the surgical site. So, surgery and radiation are no longer options for me, but chemo is! Yay! I'll take "Life Saving Chemo" for $1,000, Alex! Oh look! It's "DOUBLE JEOPARDY"!!! I WIN! Well, not quite yet, but I will fight and I will win! Fortunately, there is no metastases to the liver or lungs and I have options in chemotherapy! That is something that wasn't heard with this cancer as little as 5 years ago.

After speaking with Dr. Awesome, I believe I am going to go the route of the clinical trial. I really do feel like I am in the Land of Oz and am traveling down the Yellow Brick Road. I know that I'm going to go through the woods and have to deal with the Wicked Witch of the West. I know that along this route, my family, friends & faith will, without a doubt, carry me through. This will NOT be easy, but I DO believe in miracles and I DO believe with faith, love & support, all things are possible. 

The clinical trial of choice is a randomized trial of Selumetinib (AZD6244) and MK2206, an Akt Inhibitor v. mFolfox. My Dr. Awesome is going to be keeping close tabs on me with my CA19-9. Yet another thing I'm blessed with in the world of Pancreatic Cancer, my tumor marker is sensitive and very indicative of disease. The other choice I have is to go straight to Folfox, but I'm going to try to help my Dr. Awesome and the Pancreatic  Cancer community and take part in this clinical trial. The only way we advance medicine is through clinical trials. Plus, I'm hoping that this may be the trial and the drugs that they say, "Stop the trial early! Every PDAC patient should be on this!" I've seen that with other trials in other disease states, so I'm hoping for a little Allycat positive mojo to work some magic! 

So, that's where we are tonight, my friends. I have a recurrence of pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma with metastases to the peritoneum.

I will be starting chemotherapy next week. I will CONTINUE to work. Dr. Awesome agreed & believes it is best for me to continue working. I will be moving to Nashville because it just makes sense to be close to Vanderbilt & Dr. Awesome. Also, it will be easier to keep a regular schedule vs traveling every week for chemo. I am rallying some of my amazing friends & family in Louisville to pack, move & sell my house. 

Please keep Kyle & my family in your prayers, as they will need support as we travel the road of recurrence. While your at it, if you could throw in a good word for me too, it would be greatly appreciated. 

I'm not going to lie...I'm scared, but again, my gut is telling me, "You can beat this!" And I believe I can! 

Thank you for the love, support and prayers...

We're off to see the Wizard! 

Goodbye 49, HELLO 50! So glad to see you!!

While some of you are not on Facebook, you may not be aware of my latest developments.

Well, first things first: tonight is my last night of my 40s. Goodbye, 49...HELLO 50!!!
Let me tell you, it is a WELCOME & BLESSED birthday! Even after a tough week!
My birthday weekend began with a visit from my beautiful friend from Austin & staying with another beautiful friend in Nashville. Visiting Dr. Awesome, getting some medication for pain management & a procedure to gather some information moving forward.
Today, part of my day was spent with an amazing group of people at, "Linda's Hope". They held their 3rd Annual Chili Cookoff and I was one of the special guests of the founder, Meredith Crowley. What an amazing young woman! She is absolutely stunningly beautiful, both inside and out! She and her husband, Taylor work tirelessly in raising funds and awareness for my Dr. Awesome and his great Pancreatic Cancer program at Vanderbilt. HUGE THANK YOU to Meredith & Taylor for my decadent chocolate birthday cake! Which topped off my Saturday evening with my fabulous son & his friends at my house. I wouldn't trade places with anyone for the life I have, challenges and all, I am one blessed girl!! <3
Now for my latest medical update:

Thursday afternoon, I arrived at Vanderbilt in quite a bit of pain. My back pain has increased because there appears to be a small recurrence of cancer. They administered 4mg of Dilaudid and I was able to rest comfortably Thursday night before my procedure. My beautiful friend from Texas flew in to be with me & she drove me to my other beautiful & generous friend's house to rest & enjoy our time together. It was like an old-fashioned sleepover in grade school! Albeit, I was heavily dosed with narcotics! 

On Friday I underwent an Endoscopic Ultrasound with the hope of obtaining a sample for biopsy...No such luck. The mass, while small, is in the celiac axis. It proved to be a bit dangerous to stick a needle in it based on the location. My amazing Gastro@Vanderbilt tried to do a nerve block. We thought it was successful initially, but I am still experiencing pain. She informed me that it was a 50/50 chance of success.

Where we are now, The Radiology Report:

Small mass that appears to be a local recurrence

Liver is clear (except for the same small hemangioma that has been there since Feb.)

Lungs are clear

BEST NEWS: NO METASTASIS

Where to go from here:

Tuesday my case will be presented to the Tumor Board...all experts in their field. I may undergo another resection, chemo, radiation or combination of these. My tumor will undergo genetic testing to see what therapy it responds to best. Chemo is a necessity and I WILL lose my hair this time.  sad face...

HOWEVER, here's the positive: it is local AND its small! I responded well to Gemzar, the first round of this challenge. So, I will in all probability be given Gemzar again with a combination of added therapies/drugs. I will most likely be enrolled in a clinical trial that will be much more aggressive than my previous chemo. 

I ask for continued love, support & prayers.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude, as I just can't find the words. I become extremely emotional when I feel the outpouring of love, comfort and support from my family & friends. 

Get ready for round 2 and hopefully the last round of knocking the witch out. 

In the words of the Marathon Goddess & Heather Lilla, "WE GOT THIS!"
Surrounded by love also helps...#blessedgirl #truelove

Love y'all more...infinity...no take backs