WOW! A lot has happened in the last 6 weeks

Just wanted to jump on for a minute to say: a LOT has changed in the last few weeks and I'll be posting about it from a sunny, tropical location on Christmas Day!

Until then, today was MY day and I am living life!
Best weekend of December, so far!
Saw the kid, ate some great pizza & took in a great movie!

I hope everyone is having a magical Christmas/Holiday time with family & friends!

Remember, there are no guarantees in life. It can change in a nanosecond.
Treat others with respect and love and it will be returned to you ten-fold. Treat people poorly, lie, cheat and steal from them...it will come back to you in bad karma exponentially.

This Christmas I am grateful for and blessed with the most loving and generous friends and family on the planet!

My Christmas came early!
LOVE YOU ALL! MORE! INFINITY! NO TAKE BACKS!!

Next blog (I promise I'll get back to blogging consistently for my updates and successes with Dr Awesome), new treatment, clinical trials and yes, Pancreatic cancer can be beaten...just watch me. ;)

We're off to see the Wizard!

Dear Lord, I am so thankful that You love me unconditionally. 

Please chase away destructive thoughts that keep returning to 

take away my confidence in You and Your work in me. 

I want to rest in You and Your love.

TB2G-Amen

This is the prayer I MUST say every day as I continue my challenge with Pancreatic Cancer. 

It just couldn't be easy. That wouldn't fit with the story of my life. Nothing in life that is worth having is ever easy. It takes hard work, dedication & faith. Faith in yourself, in those you surround yourself with and faith in God.

I have learned not to assume ANYTHING! Especially when it comes to cancer. I assumed it was all behind me. I assumed I was in the elite group of Whipple & pancreatic cancer survivors. Well, I AM a survivor, with a twist. I have a little more of a challenge to go through. 

I am so very blessed to have a great Oncologist & facility filled with experts. I learned yesterday that not only is "the witch" back, but it is NOT a local recurrence, but it is metastatic. 

The Tumor Board met yesterday morning and upon reviewing my latest CT scan, one of Dr. Awesome's colleagues noticed a change to the peritoneum. It appears that I have 4-5 enlarged lymph nodes which is indicative of disease in the peritoneum along with the original area of suspicion, the surgical site. So, surgery and radiation are no longer options for me, but chemo is! Yay! I'll take "Life Saving Chemo" for $1,000, Alex! Oh look! It's "DOUBLE JEOPARDY"!!! I WIN! Well, not quite yet, but I will fight and I will win! Fortunately, there is no metastases to the liver or lungs and I have options in chemotherapy! That is something that wasn't heard with this cancer as little as 5 years ago.

After speaking with Dr. Awesome, I believe I am going to go the route of the clinical trial. I really do feel like I am in the Land of Oz and am traveling down the Yellow Brick Road. I know that I'm going to go through the woods and have to deal with the Wicked Witch of the West. I know that along this route, my family, friends & faith will, without a doubt, carry me through. This will NOT be easy, but I DO believe in miracles and I DO believe with faith, love & support, all things are possible. 

The clinical trial of choice is a randomized trial of Selumetinib (AZD6244) and MK2206, an Akt Inhibitor v. mFolfox. My Dr. Awesome is going to be keeping close tabs on me with my CA19-9. Yet another thing I'm blessed with in the world of Pancreatic Cancer, my tumor marker is sensitive and very indicative of disease. The other choice I have is to go straight to Folfox, but I'm going to try to help my Dr. Awesome and the Pancreatic  Cancer community and take part in this clinical trial. The only way we advance medicine is through clinical trials. Plus, I'm hoping that this may be the trial and the drugs that they say, "Stop the trial early! Every PDAC patient should be on this!" I've seen that with other trials in other disease states, so I'm hoping for a little Allycat positive mojo to work some magic! 

So, that's where we are tonight, my friends. I have a recurrence of pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma with metastases to the peritoneum.

I will be starting chemotherapy next week. I will CONTINUE to work. Dr. Awesome agreed & believes it is best for me to continue working. I will be moving to Nashville because it just makes sense to be close to Vanderbilt & Dr. Awesome. Also, it will be easier to keep a regular schedule vs traveling every week for chemo. I am rallying some of my amazing friends & family in Louisville to pack, move & sell my house. 

Please keep Kyle & my family in your prayers, as they will need support as we travel the road of recurrence. While your at it, if you could throw in a good word for me too, it would be greatly appreciated. 

I'm not going to lie...I'm scared, but again, my gut is telling me, "You can beat this!" And I believe I can! 

Thank you for the love, support and prayers...

We're off to see the Wizard! 

Goodbye 49, HELLO 50! So glad to see you!!

While some of you are not on Facebook, you may not be aware of my latest developments.

Well, first things first: tonight is my last night of my 40s. Goodbye, 49...HELLO 50!!!
Let me tell you, it is a WELCOME & BLESSED birthday! Even after a tough week!
My birthday weekend began with a visit from my beautiful friend from Austin & staying with another beautiful friend in Nashville. Visiting Dr. Awesome, getting some medication for pain management & a procedure to gather some information moving forward.
Today, part of my day was spent with an amazing group of people at, "Linda's Hope". They held their 3rd Annual Chili Cookoff and I was one of the special guests of the founder, Meredith Crowley. What an amazing young woman! She is absolutely stunningly beautiful, both inside and out! She and her husband, Taylor work tirelessly in raising funds and awareness for my Dr. Awesome and his great Pancreatic Cancer program at Vanderbilt. HUGE THANK YOU to Meredith & Taylor for my decadent chocolate birthday cake! Which topped off my Saturday evening with my fabulous son & his friends at my house. I wouldn't trade places with anyone for the life I have, challenges and all, I am one blessed girl!! <3
Now for my latest medical update:

Thursday afternoon, I arrived at Vanderbilt in quite a bit of pain. My back pain has increased because there appears to be a small recurrence of cancer. They administered 4mg of Dilaudid and I was able to rest comfortably Thursday night before my procedure. My beautiful friend from Texas flew in to be with me & she drove me to my other beautiful & generous friend's house to rest & enjoy our time together. It was like an old-fashioned sleepover in grade school! Albeit, I was heavily dosed with narcotics! 

On Friday I underwent an Endoscopic Ultrasound with the hope of obtaining a sample for biopsy...No such luck. The mass, while small, is in the celiac axis. It proved to be a bit dangerous to stick a needle in it based on the location. My amazing Gastro@Vanderbilt tried to do a nerve block. We thought it was successful initially, but I am still experiencing pain. She informed me that it was a 50/50 chance of success.

Where we are now, The Radiology Report:

Small mass that appears to be a local recurrence

Liver is clear (except for the same small hemangioma that has been there since Feb.)

Lungs are clear

BEST NEWS: NO METASTASIS

Where to go from here:

Tuesday my case will be presented to the Tumor Board...all experts in their field. I may undergo another resection, chemo, radiation or combination of these. My tumor will undergo genetic testing to see what therapy it responds to best. Chemo is a necessity and I WILL lose my hair this time.  sad face...

HOWEVER, here's the positive: it is local AND its small! I responded well to Gemzar, the first round of this challenge. So, I will in all probability be given Gemzar again with a combination of added therapies/drugs. I will most likely be enrolled in a clinical trial that will be much more aggressive than my previous chemo. 

I ask for continued love, support & prayers.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude, as I just can't find the words. I become extremely emotional when I feel the outpouring of love, comfort and support from my family & friends. 

Get ready for round 2 and hopefully the last round of knocking the witch out. 

In the words of the Marathon Goddess & Heather Lilla, "WE GOT THIS!"
Surrounded by love also helps...#blessedgirl #truelove

Love y'all more...infinity...no take backs

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Just as I was skipping along the Yellow Brick Road, the flying monkeys came and took me off to see the Wicked Witch of the West. And as we all know from, "The Wizard of Oz", after Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch of the East, she learned the Wicked Witch of the West was worse than the other one.

That may be what I am facing. I killed the Witch of the East, but I now may be facing the Witch of the West. My gut says, "No." But my CA19-9 says, "Maybe."

Dr. Awesome, had me have another CA19-9 drawn on Monday. As you may recall, the last one had risen to 24 (normal 0-37) from 19 at a previous visit. This was done along with my first CT scan post chemo. The rise in the CA19-9 was a bit of a concern, but my scan was clean. Based on that slight increase, he wanted me to return in 6 weeks for another check.

Well, in 6 weeks, it's gone from 24 to 54. Dr. Awesome has gone from being a bit concerned to "nervous." It doesn't seem like much, but if it's making my Oncologist, Dr. Awesome nervous, I'm pretty darn scared.  A) it's above normal now B) it's a 30 point increase in 6 weeks but more importantly, C) it's 125% increase. I've read thats what's important with the CA19-9, the percentage increase.

So, not to jump to conclusions, there are several possible causes for the rise in my number.  Of course, the most concerning is a recurrence, or the Wicked Witch of the West. To rule this out, I am undergoing a CT scan on Friday. IF the CT scan is normal, I will move forward with a PET scan sometime next week. If it's not normal, well, I'll deal with that when I cross that bridge. I'll let y'all know which direction we have to go next week.

Yet again life is showing me, the only thing you can expect, is the unexpected.
Just as I was cruising along, back at my amazing job, & my new normal life, getting back into my groove and BAM!
Life says to me, "Not so fast, you hit a speed bump." Fortunately, I have the mighty and powerful Oz, aka, Dr. Awesome! He's proactive and aggressive. As my local Gastro said, "I'm impressed with him! He is really on top of things!"

As always, thank you for your continued support, love & prayers.
I still have so much to be grateful for! I'm a blessed girl!

I'm thinking poppies...I'm getting sleepy & tomorrow is another day!
Good night...

Tax deductible donations are greatly appreciated!!!

Less than 2 weeks away from PurpleStride-Nashville and I have RAISED the goal! Yes, I am hoping this last week and a half, my team can reach $5,000 to donate to PANCAN! Setting goals are what helped me beat this cancer, so far, and I'm going to keep exceeding every goal in my life! 

I'm sitting here preparing to return to work TOMORROW! A GIFT many of my fellow pancreatic cancer patients never receive! A gift I will never take for granted! I have an entirely different perspective on the definition of a "sick day" now! Hahahaha

I'm so very blessed and at the same time so very angry about this cancer. 
Here I sit after a diagnosis of what they call, "the most lethal" cancer, preparing to return to my new "normal" life.  Only 6% of those diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer survive to year 5 AND it ONLY receives 2% of NIH funding. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't so deadly and it weren't on the rise. 

You see, it's almost October. Yes, the "pink" month. Fortunately, because of the branding and share of voice, nearly everyone on the planet knows what the pink ribbon stands for. I say KUDOS to Komen for helping raise awareness, making a difference & saving lives! Breast cancer is on the decline and the overall 5 year survival rate is now 85%! 

ALL CANCERS SUCK GIANT MOOSE GENITALIA! But now is the time for Purple & Pancreatic Cancer. While the other 4 cancers in the top 5: lung, breast, colon and prostate are ALL on the decline, sadly, pancreatic cancer is on the rise. Unfortunately, in the next 2-3 years, pancreatic cancer will become the number 2 cancer killer in the US. That means more Moms, like me, under 50 will be diagnosed and die from this cancer. Women will be more concerned about pancreatic cancer than breast cancer because it is so lethal. Hell, many of these Moms are under 40 being diagnosed with small children. The vast majority of them will never see their children graduate from high school. I at least was able to experience that with my son. 

I could go on with the stories of the loved ones I have met on my journey with pancreatic cancer. I've grown to love and protect my pancreatic cancer brothers and sisters. That is what they are, family. Like all families, we just want to live and make memories. 

Please join us in the fight and donate your tax deductible amount! No amount is too small. Please  consider giving up that Starbucks and donate to PurpleStride-Nashville. And share my blog and page to help us raise awareness and research funding for pancreatic cancer. 

Alyson Goodwin's Personal Page for TN - PurpleStride Nashville 2013 

Thanks y'all! 
Princess out <3

Time...9 months...a LOT can happen in a short span of time

"Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time."~Jim Rohn

A LOT can happen in 9 months:
a pregnancy
a  life changing diagnosis
a marriage
a divorce
a birth
a death
a LOT can happen in the span of 9 months...a LOT of living and dying. A great deal can happen in the span of a few short months.

9 months ago I was a perfectly "healthy" mother of a 20 year old. Now, almost 9 months later, I'm a blessed and miraculous "survivor"of Pancreatic Ductal Adenocarcinoma. It's funny for me to say "survivor". I'm less than a year into my diagnosis & I know the statistics very well. 80% of recurrences happen within the first 2 years. So until I reach 2/18/15, I'm quite certain I'll be a little on edge that the evil witch will return. In the next 9 months , I have to return to VICC, no less than 4 times. 

So much has changed in a short amount of time. I do not take anything for granted now. I learned to forgive and ask forgiveness. I learned that some people are not meant to be in my life. I  learned that you can't help someone who can't help themselves. I learned the 3-legged, one-eyed, mangy dog will NEVER be, "Best in Show" at Westminster. I learned I have a beautiful and blessed life and wouldn't trade places with anyone. I learned I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I learned that I am loved and the most important people in life are the givers, not the takers.

Where will you be in 9 months? Where will you be in June 2014?
There are no guarantees in life, but my goal is to be alive, traveling, enjoying life, living & surrounded by positive uplifting people. I will NOT be a prisoner to my diagnosis. I am FREE!!!
How about you? Are you a prisoner? Yes? I'll pray for you...

Princess out <3

Miracle? Karma? Luck? Genetics? Or a combination?

TB2G!! I'm blessed! So blessed that I've been about to bust, all day long!!!!

What an amazing day! I wish I could bottle the joy & gratitude I have felt all day! It's days like today that help you get through the tough days.

Those dark days of pancreatic adenocarcinoma are in my past, for now, & praying for good. My Dr. Awesome believes they are behind me. My scan was completely clear. My CA19-9 remains in the teens. My weight is back to normal. My blood is recovering from the beat down of chemo & Dr. Awesome believes it is best to remove my port so I don't have a daily reminder of my cancer. Sweet thought, but I am forever changed because of pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma & will live daily in my new "normal" as a survivor of PDAC. More importantly, my new "normal" includes all the brave fighters I've met fighting this cancer! I wish all were free of the evil witch!!!! 

I also had an appointment with my Endocrinologist. I had an ultrasound to measure the 1.6cm mass that was found on my thyroid last year. 

To my Doctors surprise, the mass is no longer there. She was in shock. The only thing she could attribute it to was, gemcitabine, the chemo for my PDAC.

Once I made it to my appointment with Dr. Awesome, I asked him, "Did my chemo have anything to do with that?" He replied, "I don't know, but I'll take credit." 

I'll gladly let him take credit because it is well deserved. Dr. Awesome led my team like a Champ. He guided me to one of the finest surgeons in the country in regards to the "Whipple". My Superstar Surgeon went the extra mile, making sure to not only completely resect the tumor & lymph nodes, but also resected the portal vein to insure negative margins. 

So, here I am in one of my favorite cities, Nashville. Thankful for a clean bill of health (other than my anemia) from both my Oncologist & Endocrinologist. 

There are no masses in me, nor cancer cells. I have been released to continue with my recovery, return to work & my new "normal".

I will be having my port removed 9/26. IF the evil witch returns, I will have another port placed. I will return to work on 9/30.

I will also be in the double top secret, Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center's Surveillance Program for those diagnosed with PDAC. Which means: I will be returning to VICC every 3 months for CA19-9s & CT scans. 

I will learn to live in the present, because it is a gift. 

The cancer may or may not come back. All I know is that today, I am grateful & I am whole. I am free of the evil witch. The Princess is free & at peace! 

I want to shout from the rooftops of Nashville, "TB2G! TB2G! GO TEAM VANDERBILT!! 

IF, God forbid, you are ever diagnosed with a Gastrointestinal Cancer, there is NO NEED to travel to Houston & MD Anderson or Johns Hopkins in Baltimore! We have a top notch facility with world-renowned, well respected thought leaders in the world of GI cancers right here in Nashville at Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center! 

Now, I'm going to enjoy the evening & weekend with my fabulous friends! 

I know I'll have challenges ahead, but if I can overcome this, I can overcome anything. As long as I have the support I've had through this, this Princess can take on the world. 

Thank you all!!! I love you so very much & am so humbled by the love & support. I never could have done this alone. TB2G, my family & friends. <3